The first Valentine’s Day I spent with Katya she was 4. I thought it would be so much fun! to make crafty Valentines together for her daycare class. It goes without saying that I also wanted to impress the other moms at the daycare so they knew that this little girl who lived with her daddy really did have a mommy-type female in her life that did things like make obnoxious Valentine’s Day cards to show up the other kids….moms.
I found an awesome Valentine in Martha Stewart magazine, and broke out the construction paper, hot glue gun, craft scissors, lollipops and glitter.
I had forgotten how much I love ideas but hate execution. I also had assumed incorrectly that Katya had the crafting skills and maturity of a teenager.
She, of course, was unable to weild scissors in any productive capacity. Scalding hot glue was obviously off limits. The one thing she did have fun with was the glitter.
Comedian Demetri Martin says this about glitter: “The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”
You all know what happens when a pre-K gets ahold of glitter. I won’t go into the gory details.
Anyhoo, this left me with the project basically all to myself in the evenings after Katya went to bed so she didn’t have a fit over not being able to “TOUCH GLITTER EVER AGAIN!” or eat any of the lollipops.
Fortunately I started this project a week in advance. Because it took me, no exaggeration, the entire week of evenings to finish the MFing things. About 12 hours total. I hate you Martha Stewart.
This year I bought Katya a cute little box of DIY Valentines from Target. I trusted her skills a bit more. These came with letter stickers and shapes stickers. I did one or two with her and then left her to her own devices to make a batch of cookie dough (and eat it. I suppose I sort of do sound all Martha Stewart-y with all the crafting and baking and what have you. But truly I made this batch entirely for myself to eat raw. No sharing. And Martha Stewart is all about sharing her bounty. side note- or other people sharing their bounty with her?? Digress.)
I came back and realized my mistake. She was super excited about the stickers, but was having trouble with placement. So she then stuck just the first letter of the person’s name to the thing and then a letter K. For Katya. I asked her how she would remember which one was for who. “Duh, S for Samantha, mom.” um, ok.
Also, she lettered out Valentine’s Day like so:
which is so totally not how I’d do it but fine. I wanted to sort of spruce things up a bit though (why the ef do I care??) so I broke out the infamous hot glue gun and started gluing Hershey’s Kisses to each one. Why, god?
So I hope that all goes over well and the Kisses don’t fall off randomly and then some kids gets Kisses and some don’t and the ones that don’t start talking shit about Katya.
This is the ecard I made for my future self.
Happy Valentine’s Day!